People adjust to having a baby differently.....mostly because all people are different, all relationships are different, and all babies are different! The issue of "Quality time with your spouse without the baby"is always something you hear about when people mention how much a baby changes things between a husband & a wife.
; ; "We wont have enough alone time" - We said this when I was pregnant, believing that we would be SO busy with the baby that we'd hardly have time to even talk or look at eachother. NOT the case at all. The first month was tough, because when baby slept, we slept, and when baby was awake, we were awake inspecting every little thing she did together. We'd lay down together and cuddle and talk about Miah and all the excitement that came with being a new mom & dad.
At 2 months old Miah began sleeping 12 hours a night. She goes down between 8 and 9 and sleeps for 12 hours straight. We did NOT expect this at all. We had always joked that if she is our child, she'll love sleep....and she does!! But since she has started this, Mike and I have been very blessed to have quality time while staying right in our home, and baby sleeping down the hall. We don't need to spend money once a week, or "get rid" of the baby. We know she will not wake up because of her schedule, so we spend time together, watch a movie, play a game, play with the cats, and just chat about our day. It has given us a really nice thing to look forward to everynight, knowing that after a long day you get to sit down with the love of your life, and just spend time with them.
I asked Mike the other day "Do you feel that we're lacking any quality time together?" and he said "Surprisingly, No. Not at all.....do you?" and I told him No. We both were shocked, considering what we were told, but we are also aware that not every baby sleeps 12 hours a night at 2 months old!
Miah is 15 weeks, and we still haven't left her with anyone while we went out together.(And there is definitely no shortage of babysitters who are eager & willing to take her anytime). I've left her with Mike, He's obviously left her with me, and my mother in law & my aunt both watched her for about 20 minutes while I ran to target, but together, for a longer period of time, we have never left her.
Mike and I have considered a few times calling someone to watch her while we go to dinner ....but we truly enjoy having her with us. Sure, she's screaming sometimes, and vying for our attention, and were eating one handed while balancing a baby on our knee ... but how long is she going to be this age??? We are going to have PLENTY of quiet dinners through out our lives when Miah is older....and we'll miss having that baby straddling our knee making silly faces and smiles at us....(maybe we wont miss the screaming though lol) and we'll miss the random people walking up to us talking to her. A baby truly brings people together, and we love that!! We love meeting new people in a restaurant and striking up conversations about our kids!
OF COURSE we're going to go out alone to dinner, or a movie, or for some drinks, or out with friends. But we're just not as eager to do so since Miah's schedule is what it is, and we have quality time at home, without spending money, without getting dressed (Hey....the most memorable advice i've ever received right before I got married was "fights don't happen if you're both naked!!"hahahah), and without someone else watching the baby. We love that we can save money and have a blast together right in our living room!
If Miah wasn't a good sleeper, and wasn't on a good schedule, this would all be a completely different story. We definitely believe our relationship is #1 and that it should continue growing and getting better & better despite a baby being in the picture. Sad as it is to think about, Miah is not going to be in our home forever, she'll grow up and have her own life. When Miah moves out on her own one day, Mike and I don't want to look at eachother and say "Who are you?" ... we want to still be bestfriends, and still be crazy in love with eachother! We want Miah to have a positive view of marriage, and the sanctity of it, and have a healthy marriage to look up to.
Like I said everyone adjusts differently to having a baby...and in a few months this could all change and be completely different for us.....But, this is how things are right now, and we really like it...it's what works for us & our marriage!
I hope for all of you with children, you're finding time for your significant other, and making them feel loved and respected, and I hope they're doing the same for you. :)
Xoxo,
Jess
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